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Top Excuses For Getting Out of Work To Watch the World Cup

Jun 26, 2014 -- 9:25am

The U.S. plays Germany today at noon (ET).  If you're thinking about bailing on work to watch the game, here are The Top Excuses for Getting Out of Work to Watch the U.S. World Cup Match.

You were so mesmerized by the adorable kitty on your calendar that you lost track of time and thought today was Saturday.

You're a horrible employee who doesn't do a damn thing.  (Honesty is always the best policy.)

You could have SWORN Thursday was "come in only if you feel like it" day.

A mysterious gypsy told you if you went into work today, you'd get warts all over your no-no parts.

You're sponsoring a German exchange student and need something to talk about besides strudel.

You have a doctor's appointment.  And your doctor's office is in the back of O'Malley's Tavern.

You weren't alive for World War 2, so you want to see the U.S. kick some German butt.

You promised to help Gary Oldman hide from the devious Jews that run Hollywood.

Your car won't start.  (Technically, it never starts because of the DUI lock.  But they don't need to know that.)

You have a migraine from listening to Hillary Clinton going around claiming she's "poor".

You know that thing where you have a really high fever and you're vomiting all the time?  Yeah, that.

Who needs excuses when you've been out of work for three years?

You're gonna be late today.  You've got a doctor's appointment that will last about 90 minutes . . . plus probably about five more minutes of Extra Time.

You're still weak in the knees from looking at the mugshot of the "Hot Convict" . . . and you're a guy.

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